new site:

www.xanga.com/xhealingxscarsx

GO AWAY

Im a liar

Im a crier

Im a fake.

Im not ok

Im not strong

Im barely holding on...

I miss you

I need you

I want you to make all this pain

go away...

without you

 i saw you yesterday

i saw you in the hall

i started talking louder

pretending nothing was wrong.

i miss your face, your touch, you.

the way you used to look at me

made me feel so special, wanted and needed.

but that last look you gave me,

made me want to puke.

i saw you yesterday

i saw you in the hallway.

you were with people you would've

never talked to before.

i wonder why that is,

i wonder why you'd choose them over me.

i miss you face, your touch, you.

the way you used to look at me

made me feel so special, wanted and needed.

but that last look you gave me,

made me wanna break down and cry.

i didnt see you today

i didnt feel your face.

i can no longer picture my happy place

'cuz im not happy without you.</3

Things at home are going okay I guess. Not very happy with my mom, as usual I am counting down teh days till I go to california. july 19th...seems too far away. i couldnt change my plan ticket so i just have to hold out. been fighting alot with mom and stuff. my older sister sarah, is here from virginia. cool beans. reading some books. writing alot. watching tons of tv...i feel so lazy. i sleep half my days away. went to teh beach thursday. swam...fun "family" time. went swimming with the sharks on friday. yes, real sharks. in a cage. 3 miles out to sea off north shore. for 15 mins....in a cage surrounded by many, many sharks. i seriously couldnt count them all. i was shark bait, but im alive and have all my limbs. i actully didnt notice at one point in time, that i had my feet sticking out of the side of the cage....i pissed myself. luckly, i was in the water still. i kept looking down, but we were in 400ft deep water so all i saw was black. spooky....i would do it again, anytime. anywho, i went and saw malery yesterday. fun fun. talked in her room for 45mins or so. im gonna take a "walk" next friday to see her again. today was our block party. at OUR house....blah. played with kids in bounce house the whole time. ate lots of food. most of it was gross. ohh well. thats what you get for asking others to bring side-dishes. lol. anyways, im talking to ioane again. seems we had a little problem with our parents but its all good now. he moved into a new house, closer to my house. lol too bad we're not going out. haha [just kiddin'] but yeah, going to the beach tomorrow. all day at the lagoons. i need a tan, and thats the way to get one. and i can finish my book at the same time i guess.

alone